PHCpL
PH Consulting (private) Limited
Paris Hilton Consulting “private” Limited
We all know Paris Hilton. But do we know what she is famous for?......She is famous for being famous :).
A reporter comes to her one day and asks her - “Paris you have been advising a lot of people off late – from upcoming models, actresses, to even John McCain. With all this advising are you thinking of formally entering the consulting business?”.
P: "Ok..Anything that helps the MANkind!"
And thus was born PHCpL. Paris herself came up with a theory on how her company would work. The Paris Hilton Theory stated that -
To make it big in life, all you have to do is go out with your friends, party hard and look twice as good as the person next to you.
The news about PHCpL spreads like wildfire. Media just pounces on it, as it does for anything concerning Paris. The news reaches our presidential candidate senator Barack Obama and he decides to come and meet Paris.
Paris: “Hi Barack! What can I do for you?”
Obama: “Paris, My popularity is dipping. This way I will lose the elections. Can you suggest something that makes me more popular".
Paris : “Popularity!! Hmm...”
"What do you think about a Wardrobe malfunction (actions like removing pants)?
Obama : Oh No!!
Paris : "Ok...Then what do you say we make a video (actions between them)... you know"
Obama : Smiles! "No, No"
Paris : "Why don't you tell me what you are really worried about?"
Obama : “I think I am quite popular with the younger crowd. However recent intelligence reports have suggested that the older ladies kind of find McCain ATTRACTIVE. Also, since I defeated Hillary, more and more women are going towards Mccain.”
Paris: “McCain!! Isn't he that cool white haired dude…....hmm..that explains the attraction. Obama, you are an advocate of change. You will have to change yourself."
Paris gives Obama a photograph of Obama with Hillary’s hairstyle. Obama is very happy. He adopts Hillary’s hairstyle and his popularity skyrockets.
So impressed that he decides to do an add for PHCpL.
"I am Barack Obama and I approve Paris Hilton Consulting"
Our own Phoenix Sun Shaquille O Neal sees the ad. Now he decides to come and see Paris.
Paris : “Hi Shaq!! What can I do for you”
Shaq : “More and more teams are fouling me and I cannot make my free-throws. When I throw from my left hand the ball goes to the right, and when I throw from the right hand the ball goes to the left. What should I do?”
Paris : “Shaq!! You look in a very bad shape. I think you are not partying enough. Do you party ?”
Shaq : "Yes, I party both before and after the game".
Paris : "Do you Dance at the party? Show me how you Dance”
---- Shaq dances with hands up --–
Paris : “That’s good very good. You are naturally different. Now just raise your arms while dancing and make a throwing action ”
---- Shaq dances with hands up and in a throwing action --–
Paris : “Great! If you party more and more and dance this way you will get enough practice and you will be fine."
Shaq follows Paris' advice and the effects are surprising. He becomes the best free-throw shooter in NBA.
These two incidents make everyone take notice of PHCpL. Its popularity increases leaps and bounds. More and more individuals and organizations start coming to Paris for advice and everyone returns fully SATISFIED. Paris Hilton theory finds its application in day to day incidents.
“Real Estate prices start to be governed by the beauty quotient of real estate agents in that area”
“Stock prices begin to be tracked by the partying habits of CEOs.”
"In a poll of the best hairstyle in the country, Obama defeats, hands down, the 3-time champion– Donald Trump".
“NBA modifies its rules and makes it mandatory for one of the two free-throws to be a PH-throw”
Over the years the PH Theory becomes the corner stone of not just modern economics, but also astrology, astrnomy and even chemistry.
“Research at MIT shows correlation between the partying habits of atoms to the crystalline structure of ice”
PHCpL grows from a small US company to a globally recognized conglomerate; a multi-million dollar powerhouse. It goes on a buying spree, and kills the competition. Further success makes it big, big, bigger, bigger and eventually the biggest company in the world.
Fast Forward around 40 years.
The year is 2050. Nobel Laureate Paris is now 70 years old. She lives in a small cottage in the middle of the Sahara desert. She has lost all her friends and she doesn't look as good as in her younger years, but she still parties. PHCpL still exists but is headquartered in China and has been renamed “Peen Huang Consulting private Limited”.
A reporter comes to her and asks her- “Paris, we have seen your contribution in a wide variety of fields. However recently an alien from Mars credited you with introducing him to his girlfriend and also suggesting a novel way of proposing to her. Does that mean?"
Paris: "Yes, Anything that helps the Aliens!!!"
And thus is born-
PHIMS
Paris Hilton IMS
Paris Hilton Intergalactic Matrimony Services.
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